Adult dating sites are ridiculously popular these days! I visited one recently and it boasted over 34 million members. How does that happen? I've never seen such numbers at normal dating sites. Why are they so popular? These numbers make adult dating sites look mainstream, while normal dating site with their relatively paltry numbers look positively "niche".
But the behavior at adult dating sites don't reflect the day to day behavior of people in society. People typically don't go straight to sexual relations. They date, get to know the person, and it progresses from there. So why are these sites so popular?
Clearly the dating site "profile" plays a big part in this. It gives us anonymity from the people we are communicating with, and the rest of the world, till we build a level of trust. As such, the exposure to rejection and pain associated with such rejection is much less on the internet than in real life. Ie. There is very little opportunity for public humiliation. But does this allow people to be more direct, courageous and honest about chasing their sexual desires? Is "under the cloak of darkness" a very real factor here?
I wonder if this new honesty, which we find on adult dating sites, will spill over into society. Will people gradually become more direct and courageous in public, when searching for a "bed-mate"? Or will this be courage forever require the protection of an internet profile.
Could this have bad consequences too. For example, could a shift to directness start a break down of social niceties, manners and flirting?
Or is it possible that the internet will make us more socially reclusive. That is, given we have the "cover" of an internet alias on dating sites, will we decide there is no reason to risk the public rejection which comes hand in hand, with asking people out on a date?
These are questions I ponder, but have no answer for. Only time will tell. So I'm just going to have fun dating in the meantime, there are so many new people to meet at this site I just joined.
But the behavior at adult dating sites don't reflect the day to day behavior of people in society. People typically don't go straight to sexual relations. They date, get to know the person, and it progresses from there. So why are these sites so popular?
Clearly the dating site "profile" plays a big part in this. It gives us anonymity from the people we are communicating with, and the rest of the world, till we build a level of trust. As such, the exposure to rejection and pain associated with such rejection is much less on the internet than in real life. Ie. There is very little opportunity for public humiliation. But does this allow people to be more direct, courageous and honest about chasing their sexual desires? Is "under the cloak of darkness" a very real factor here?
I wonder if this new honesty, which we find on adult dating sites, will spill over into society. Will people gradually become more direct and courageous in public, when searching for a "bed-mate"? Or will this be courage forever require the protection of an internet profile.
Could this have bad consequences too. For example, could a shift to directness start a break down of social niceties, manners and flirting?
Or is it possible that the internet will make us more socially reclusive. That is, given we have the "cover" of an internet alias on dating sites, will we decide there is no reason to risk the public rejection which comes hand in hand, with asking people out on a date?
These are questions I ponder, but have no answer for. Only time will tell. So I'm just going to have fun dating in the meantime, there are so many new people to meet at this site I just joined.
About the Author:
Jayde Johanssen, bemused by the popularity of adult dating sites, ponders whether the phenomena will change our way of life
