Amar's Nice Articles: Aug 19, 2010

Thursday, August 19, 2010

Flirting Tips | What Are The Best Flirting Tips?

You spot the gorgeous gal at the party and her irresistible charisma makes you mad for her. You want to get closer to her…you are dying to spend to few precious moments of togetherness. But will you succeed to impress her? What can you do now?

Just go through the page and hone your flirting skills…

Always wear a smile when you are in the mood for flirting. It is indeed the most important accessory of a flirt. Smiling persons are really much more approachable than their straight-faced counterparts. A beautiful smile has the power of lighting up the whole evening and can add such a magnetic charm to your personality that can draw a number of people towards you.

Shower your partner with heaps of compliments. But never go over the top. And keep an element of surprise in all your compliments. They must sound genuine and candid. Whenever you receive a compliment, don’t forget to say ‘thank you’ in return. All these will surely keep your flirting game going.

Making eye contact is a must! Give your partners seductive looks for a few seconds and then take your eyes away from him/her. Please don’t ogle constantly. It can be a major turn off.

A good listener always makes a desirable person. If you are willing to lend your ears to your partner for several minutes, he/she will be more than happy to get an attentive and patient listener like you and your flirting hour can turn out to be quite a hit.

Be confident enough to make the first move. Shyness can be a real obstacle in the path of a good flirt. Just get closer to the person who has fascinated you and greet him/her with a cordial ‘hi’ or ‘hello’.

Get in charge of the whole situation, instead of playing the passive role of a person who is always waiting in the wings for his/her turn to come.

Be well groomed. Your appearance should be a pleasing, yet eye-catching one. In this process, you are free to take help of various props. The perfume you wear plays an effective role in turning that special someone on. Clothes and other accessories too need to chosen with care. You may also take your cute little puppy or your bro’s chubby son with you. These props are great for catching the attention of a woman.

Always try to bring forth your vulnerable self. Keep your jovial and cheery mood alive.

Learn to enhance your gift of the gab. Carry on talking on diverse subjects and keep your partner engrossed. Always give him/her chance to take part in the conversation.

Make your confidence your greatest asset. Risks are intrinsic to flirting. So, don’t get afraid to take risks. Wear your attitude on your sleeve. Show that you are keen to give her company and think positive. You have to shun all your negativities; they show on your face.

Fill your eyes with deep interest and warmth while looking at your beloved. Keep your pupils moving. If you see that the object of your flirting has started blushing, then it is rest assured that you have won the game.

Always speak in a low, but appealing tone. Try to get in tune with his/her level of volume.

Modulate your voice; add a sensuous touch to it.

Give gentle touches in various areas of the person’s body. But, never grope any body part. Fleeting touches in hands, shoulders and arms have their magical aftereffects.

Take her away from the crowd, move to the room’s corner and put your entire focus on her.

Don’t try to be over-smart and never try to be someone you are not. There are chances that you can turn out to be a laughing stock.

Act, behave and talk in such a way that will go with your image. Be yourself and put forward your true self.

Sexual undercurrents in conversation are OK. But, debar from sexual overtones. That may spoil the whole thing.

Never take flirting too far and cross the limit of decency. Flirting up to a certain extent is fine, but too much of anything is bad.

Don’t become an exhibitionist. Too much showing off is never desirable.

Try to develop your self-esteem. A person lacking in the department of self-respect can never be a charmer.

The more you flirt, the more you sharpen your flirting ability. ‘Practice makes perfect’ ” these words are true in every respect. Try your hands at parties, discs, bars and other social-dos.

The best way to know whether the person you are flirting with is interested is to take a close look at his/her eyes. Once you succeed in reading the language of other people’s eyes, you can become adept in flirting.

Give him/her clear signals that you are attracted. Try to read the person’s signals too.

Ask his/her special likings, hobbies etc. and made them your topic of discussion. Don’t go on and on speaking only about yourself and your penchants.

Offer her a drink and a few bites from your snacks.

Let, your body language speak volumes about yourself.

Never use filthy languages. Be humorous and crack intelligent jokes.

Try to find which is your sexiest body part and what makes you sexy in the truest sense. Ooze your sex appeal.

Don’t use clichd ‘pick up’ lines. Try something new and unique.

Becoming too self-conscious about your body is not desirable.

Sometimes silence speaks volumes. Try to give your partner non-verbal signals.

Well…are you ready to take the plunge now? If YES, then, ALL THE BEST for your next Saturday night-out…

Extramarital Affairs: What Everyone Needs To Know... And What You Can Do To Help

By Alfred Lancer

Recent statistics suggest that 40% of women (and that number is increasing) and 60% of men at one point indulge in extramarital Affairs. Put those numbers together and it is estimated that 80% of the marriages will have one spouse at one point or another involved in marital infidelity.

That may seem like a very steep number. However after two decades plus of full time work as a marriage and family therapist, I don't believe that number is off the charts. I worked with a great number of people involved in infidelity who were never discovered.

The possibility that someone close to you is or soon will be involved in an extramarital affair (any of the three parties) is extremely high.

Maybe you will know. You will see telltale signs. You will notice changes in the person's habits and behavioral patterns as well as a detachment, lack of focus and reduced productivity. Maybe you will sense something "out of character" but be unable to pinpoint what it is.

It is not a given that he/she will tell you. Those hiding the affair will continue to hide. The "victim" of the extramarital affair often, at least initially, is racked with anger, hurt, embarrassment and thoughts of failing that preclude divulging the crisis.

It might be important to confront the person with your observations, depending on the status of your relationship with the person.

It is important to understand that extramarital affairs are different and serve different purposes.

Out of my study and experience with hundreds of couples I've identified 7 different kinds of infidelity.

Briefly, some extramarital affairs are reactivity to a perceived lack of intimacy in the marriage. Others arise out of addictive tendencies or a history of sexual confusion or trauma.

Some in our culture play out issues of entitlement and power by becoming "trophy chasers." This "boys will be boys" mentality is subtly encouraged in some contexts. Some become involved in marital infidelity because of a high need for drama and excitement and are enthralled with the idea of "being in love" and having that "loving feeling."

An extramarital affair might be for revenge either because the spouse did or did not do something. Or the revenge may stem from rage. Although revenge is the motive for both, they look and feel very different.

Another form of infidelity serves the purpose of affirming personal desirability. A nagging question of being "OK" may lead to usually a short-term and one-person affair. And finally, some affairs are a dance that attempts to balance needs for distance and intimacy in the marriage, often with collusion from the spouse.

The prognosis for survivability of the marriage is different for each. Some affairs are the best thing that happens to a marriage. Others serve a death knell. As well, different extramarital affairs demand different strategies on the part of the spouse or others. Some demand toughness and movement. Others demand patience and understanding.

The emotional impact of the discovery of infidelity is usually profound. Days and weeks of sleeplessness, rumination, fantasies (many sexual) and unproductivity follow. It typically takes 2 - 4 years to "work through" the implications. A good coach or therapist can accelerate and mollify the process. I don't recommend "marriage" counseling, at least initially.

The devastating emotional impact results from a couple powerful dynamics. Trust is shattered - of one's ability to discern the truth. The most important step is NOT to learn to trust the other person, but to learn to trust one's self. Another is the power that a secret plays in relationships. THE secret exacts an emotional and sometimes physical toll that needs to be acknowledged and dealt with.

How can you help?

Those in the midst of their affair crisis told me they need this from you:

1. Sometimes I want to vent, get it out without censor. I know sometimes I will say what I shouldn't be saying. It may not be nice, pretty or mild. Please know that I know better, but I need to get it off my chest.

2. Every so often I want to hear something like, "This too shall pass." Remind me that this is not forever.

3. I want to be validated. I want to know that I am OK. You can best do that by nodding acceptance when I talk about the pain or confusion.

4. I want to hear sometimes, "What are you learning? What are you doing to take care of yourself?" I may need that little jolt that moves me beyond my pain to see the larger picture.

5. I may want space. I may want you to be quiet and patient as I attempt to sort through and express my thoughts and feelings. Give me some time to stammer, stutter and stumble my way through this.

6. I want someone to point out some new options or different roads that I might take. But before you do this, make sure I am first heard and validated.

7. When they pop into your mind, recommend books or other resources that you think I might find helpful.

8. I want to hear every so often, "How's it going?" And, I may want this to be more than an informal greeting. Give me time and space to let you know exactly how it IS going.

9. I want you to understand and welcome the ambivalent feelings and desires. I would like you to be fairly comfortable with the gray areas and the contradictions about how I feel and what I may want.

10. I want you to be predictable. I want to be able to count on you to be there, listen and speak consistently or let me know when you are unable to do that. I will honor that.

Extramarital affairs are powerful. Affairs are costly. They affect family, friends, colleagues and employers. Infidelity is also an opportunity - to redesign one's life and love relationships in ways that create honor, joy and true intimacy.

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Amar's Nice Articles

Thursday, August 19, 2010

Flirting Tips | What Are The Best Flirting Tips?

Extramarital Affairs: What Everyone Needs To Know... And What You Can Do To Help

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