Friday, October 30, 2009

Get Your Ex Back By Avoiding Common Mistakes

By Justin Krawl

One of the most painful and devastating experiences in life is coping with the wounds from a terrible break up. This is even worse if you still are in love with the other person. The fighting and arguments might be over, but you still have uneasy feelings and difficult memories about your ex lover, and these can be very difficult to deal with. It is not easy to completely get your ex out of your head, and you are probably constantly thinking about why the relationship ended in such a manner. If you are seriously convinced of the fact that your relationship shouldn't end, due to your love for this individual, you must learn how to get your ex back.

Many individuals make multiple attempts to persuade their ex to reconcile with them, and upon doing this, it causes the possibility of it ever happening to grow more hopeless each time. If this is what you are experiencing then you need to acquire a strategy on how to effectively win your ex back. The majority of time, people are moved by their emotions and end up causing more confusion in the situation, which results in making the chances of getting back together far worse than before. Although their attempts to work through some of the issues with their ex can be genuine and sincere, they still need to approach the situation logically and plan how they're going to get their ex to love and receive them again. This may require seeking some professional counseling in order to provide the necessary information on how to get their ex back painlessly and effortlessly.

Over the past few years, I've counseled individuals about their relationships and I have come to realize that many men and women do entirely the wrong thing when trying to win the affection of an ex lover. From my own personal studies I have come to the conclusion that the number one reason for this is fear. Sadly, fear will provoke you to say and do strange things in front of your ex that you normally wouldn't do in any other situation. This behavior is produced as a result of the fear of loss of the relationship forever. You start begging and pleading with your ex to take you back. Some of this behavior can go to huge extremes and it can result in stalking, death threats, and other abnormal scenarios that could be dangerous and may damage any possibility of reconciliation for good. However, I hope to present to you a few pointers on how to prevent this from happening and get your ex to return to you in an easy and ethical manner.

When considering the majority of relationships that I myself have counseled, I discovered that many were destroyed due to not being clear on what makes the other person happy. Personal happiness is extremely important, and not just your own. Sometimes it can be difficult to truly understand what makes the other person happy, and sometimes people don't even know themselves. Sometimes it's apparent that one person is feeling muffled and ends the relationship in search of excitement. It's important to realize that this is often a root cause for the ending of a relationship. It might be smart to stay away from the ex for a period and create a curiosity effect, as they will not be sure what you are doing with your life and somewhat interested in you again. Nothing is more attractive than the unknown, and if you become unknown to your ex once again, you might find them drawn to you.

Try not to point fingers in why the relationship ended. Blaming the other person even if you truly believe it is their fault will only cause bad feelings. In learning to get your ex back you must reconcile your feelings and move on. Forgiving your ex for things he or she may have said that have caused hurt feelings and learn to get past them is one of the best things you can do. Communicate your feelings in an open and honest way and look toward the future. If you don't let go of the past you may never have a future with this person.

One last thing that you should do before trying to restart a relationship is improve your personal life, especially aspects of it that might have helped tear apart the relationship. In doing this, you will stop thinking about the situation in terms of how you were mistreated, and begin to think about it in terms of how you can improve yourself. This is, in my opinion, among the best things you can do to get an ex back. Lastly, it is good to find some personal hobbies to distract yourself from only thinking about the relationship. There are many fun things to do with friends, with family or alone that can be a rewarding way to spend your time without your ex.

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