Wednesday, November 10, 2010

Dealing With Snide Comments In A Relationship

By Craig Breedlove

There are few things more toxic to a relationship than snide comments. You know, these little digs that hit their mark so hurtfully and cause lingering resentment.

So what do you do if the catty comments continue? Eventually, even the most patient person will lash out. Here are a few ways to diffuse such situations. .

1. The first time it happens, give your partner the benefit of the doubt that it won't happen again. Anyone can have a bad day and they may truly regret their behavior. So, accept their apology if it happens one time.

2. If it reoccurs, address it. You must tell your partner how such comments make you feel. Be specific and explain why it bothers you so much.

3. Most couples could benefit from regular counseling. A weekly or monthly appointment will give you both an opportunity to air problems and express appreciation for each other.

Frequent counseling also gives couples a chance to address things discussed in previous sessions. That way, things are not left unsaid.

For the sessions to be effective, the participants must feel they are in a safe environment where they are free to express themselves. It helps to not place blame when discussing issues.

So, do your part to enable your relationship to go the distance. If your partner snaps at you, give him the benefit of the doubt and let it go. If it is an on-going problem, however, call him out on it before you lose it. Explain how it makes you feel without placing blame.

Regular counseling sessions can help when it comes to relationships. It's a good opportunity to bring up problems or concerns before they become obstacles.

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