By Jayde Johanssen
There is a lot of advice and information about internet dating out there. Trying to digest it all can be quite difficult and even scary if you get caught up in too much of the "What can go wrong" type of information out there.
So I am taking a different approach with this article. Instead of making it confusing, difficult or scary, I am hopefully going to remind you that dating should be simple and fun. That's it. So here are my top three tips for fun dating.
1. Before you start dating online, there are 2 things you need to think about. Firstly, think about the qualities you are looking for in your partner. Secondly, think about the experience you are looking for. When reflecting on these two things, try to do it on your own, without accepting advice from anyone.
You will get a lot of advice from people when you start to go down this route. IGNORE them. They have all kinds of different and irrelevant motivations for giving you their advice. You are the only one who knows what is right for you right now though.
Be true to your own needs and desires and you will find happiness. That is what happiness is after all. Recognise that there will be hiccups along the way, so if a date or relationship doesn't work, don't see them as mistakes, see them as part of the journey. The failed relationships actually allow you, through comparison, to enjoy the successful ones so much more.
Tip 2. Having noted the type of person and experience you want, only go to dating sites which cater for those specifics. Ignore the general dating sites that attract every man and his dog, only join niche ones which attract the people you are looking for. That is, use the dating site itself to qualify your potential dates.
General dating sites can be very hit and miss. You may end up spending all your time filtering through inappropriate emails and therefore have none left to date the people you like. So just use the niche sites. Some examples include: Asian dating sites, if eastern culture is important to you. Religious dating sites (Ie. Christian or Jewish) if morality in a partner is important. Adult dating sites if you are looking for a fun time, as opposed to a long time. There are all manner of niche sites, you'll be amazed at their variety.
3. Always be safe. There is a natural progression with online dating. You start with the dating site, then you swap emails, then phone numbers and then arrange to meet. Your first meeting should be in a public place with lots of people and maybe some friends in the background somewhere, to keep an eye on things.
Never escalate with someone that you are not yet comfortable with or don't feel safe with. This means don't give your email address or phone number to someone who hasn't won your confidence on the dating site. Following that, don't meet someone who has not made you feel comfortable when communicating by email or phone. Finally, never meet someone privately when they did not make you feel safe in the public meeting. This all sounds like common sense, but it is always harder when you are in the middle of it and getting pressured by the person on the other end, so be strong.
After that first meeting you are no longer internet dating, so your experience should progress along the same lines as any developing relationship.
I hope that helps. Keep it simple, have fun and by following your instincts, have a safe dating experience to success.
