Upsets and irritations will occur in relationships. Our mate will be rude to us, or yell at us, or be unthoughtful in some ways. It's gonna happen. If we can't let it go, then we have a problem.
You know, we keep thinking about how they said that to us, or they didn't call us to tell us they'd be late, or they snapped at us and didn't apologize. Things will happen in a committed relationship between two people that are unpleasant. If we keep thinking about and getting upset about it, the damage to the relationship grows.
Thus, forgiveness. It is necessary to keep relationships from spiraling out of love.
But how can you forgive when what happened is so upsetting and keeps replaying in your mind? How can you let it go when it won't let you go?
One way to forgive is to practice not taking what they did so personally. This will help you to let go of it more readily.
How do you not take it personally when they yelled at you? Well, understand that they are doing the best they can. But like all of us, they get irritated or bothered about things and explode from time to time. You just happened to be the person there they could vent some frustration towards.
If you start to consider that it wasn't about you, even though they yelled at you, then you can begin to have room to let it go. Learning to let go is the key to forgiveness. Whatever you have to do to do that is the skill you want to practice. They were rude to you happened. But how you respond, how long you carry around your anger or hurt, is up to you. You can let go of your anger with a little practice.
You don't have to forgive. But have you noticed that if you don't forgive, you are the one who is hurt? You are the one who is filled with anger and irritation? Learning to let go and forgive helps you, which helps your relationship.
You know, we keep thinking about how they said that to us, or they didn't call us to tell us they'd be late, or they snapped at us and didn't apologize. Things will happen in a committed relationship between two people that are unpleasant. If we keep thinking about and getting upset about it, the damage to the relationship grows.
Thus, forgiveness. It is necessary to keep relationships from spiraling out of love.
But how can you forgive when what happened is so upsetting and keeps replaying in your mind? How can you let it go when it won't let you go?
One way to forgive is to practice not taking what they did so personally. This will help you to let go of it more readily.
How do you not take it personally when they yelled at you? Well, understand that they are doing the best they can. But like all of us, they get irritated or bothered about things and explode from time to time. You just happened to be the person there they could vent some frustration towards.
If you start to consider that it wasn't about you, even though they yelled at you, then you can begin to have room to let it go. Learning to let go is the key to forgiveness. Whatever you have to do to do that is the skill you want to practice. They were rude to you happened. But how you respond, how long you carry around your anger or hurt, is up to you. You can let go of your anger with a little practice.
You don't have to forgive. But have you noticed that if you don't forgive, you are the one who is hurt? You are the one who is filled with anger and irritation? Learning to let go and forgive helps you, which helps your relationship.
About the Author:
You can learn much more about this in the free course 7 Vital Relationship Insights You Never Learned In School at How To Have The True Love You Want. Lexi Delane teaches relationship intelligence courses and you can get more here True Love Help.
