Wednesday, August 18, 2010

Causes Of Jealousy

By Jeremy Chan

Jealousy is not a simple emotion. It is complex and difficult to define and understand. There are various reasons why we feel jealous. It is a human emotion and just normal that we sometimes feel it. But sometimes, it gets out of control. Once you begin to understand jealousy, it becomes easier to control.

Jealousy does not come out of thin air. You might think that you have valid reasons for being jealous but there might be a deeper cause for the problem. They have root causes and you need to know these in order to better understand why you are feeling jealous. The biggest part of the problem may be within you. These are the possible reasons and causes of jealousy:

* Self-confidence - The lack of self-confidence is often the main cause behind jealousy. If you have self-confidence, jealousy tends to take a back seat or at least become minimal and controlled.

* Self-esteem - This goes hand in hand with self-confidence. Having a poor self-image or low self-esteem is a big reason for jealousy. If you think you are fat or not fit to be with your partner, you tend to feel jealous when you and your partner are around people you think are better looking than you.

* Fear - There is always the niggling fear of rejection, of being alone, or of losing your partner. This is common, but fear should not overtake your positive emotions like trust, love, and security.

* Insecurity - If you have a poor self-image and lack self-confidence, the result is the feeling of insecurity. This might be the most obvious reason that you are feeling jealous.

If you are feeling jealous, the first thing you need to do is to acknowledge it and admit to yourself that what you are feeling is jealousy. Then ask yourself where it is coming from. Are you afraid of losing your partner? Or do you think you are not fit to be with him or her? Once you figure it out, ask yourself again why you are feeling insecure, or why you are feeling afraid. Then think of ways on how you can overcome this or control your emotions. Try to think of positive things and let positive emotions rule you instead of jealousy. This way, you might enhance your self-esteem and at the same time, improve your personal relationships.

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