This is going to sound totally illogical at first, but stop and consider whether the way to ultimately save your marriage is to just stop talking to one another as often. Most assume that they need to talk as often as possible if they want to work things out, but the way they end up talking can lead to more harm than good.
In most cases, a couple going through a stormy period of marriage will end up sitting with a couple's therapist in attempt to work out the problems. At first it is often tense and having to sit there and listen to the other person's gripes and grumbles is very aggravating. Yet in the end, some will be able to find common ground and come out okay. Others will turn their sessions into shouting matches that eventually lead to a divorce.
Why is it that talking works for some couples but fails miserably for others?
If you want to turn talk time into a rekindled marriage, you have to understand at some point that the actual talking is not what heals a marriage. What will ultimately save a relationship is both people being able to really listen to one another and then take deliberate steps outside of talk time to make things better for one another.
The key is listening, not talking. Couples therapists can be a great tool, as long as you use them in the right way. Two people staring bitterly at the floor, breath sucked in tight, waiting for their turn to spill all the dirt and get even with the other person, will likely never work anything out. You have to actually listen to one another.
Another way to totally screw things up is to leave the talk session in a rage, screaming and yelling at one another. Or, you can completely shut one another out and refuse to talk at all. In either case, you aren't like to move forward with positive action to fix the problems and all the fighting or ignoring will lead nowhere.
The recipe for success is a short period of open, honest, attack-free discussion where both people are allowed to state the issues as they see it without worry of attack or revenge. If you really listen to one another and then take deliberate action to start fixing the issues, you may really be able to save the relationship.
If you really want to save your marriage, then realize that action counts more than words. When it comes down to rekindling a flame or letting it snuff out, what you do counts much more than what you say.
In most cases, a couple going through a stormy period of marriage will end up sitting with a couple's therapist in attempt to work out the problems. At first it is often tense and having to sit there and listen to the other person's gripes and grumbles is very aggravating. Yet in the end, some will be able to find common ground and come out okay. Others will turn their sessions into shouting matches that eventually lead to a divorce.
Why is it that talking works for some couples but fails miserably for others?
If you want to turn talk time into a rekindled marriage, you have to understand at some point that the actual talking is not what heals a marriage. What will ultimately save a relationship is both people being able to really listen to one another and then take deliberate steps outside of talk time to make things better for one another.
The key is listening, not talking. Couples therapists can be a great tool, as long as you use them in the right way. Two people staring bitterly at the floor, breath sucked in tight, waiting for their turn to spill all the dirt and get even with the other person, will likely never work anything out. You have to actually listen to one another.
Another way to totally screw things up is to leave the talk session in a rage, screaming and yelling at one another. Or, you can completely shut one another out and refuse to talk at all. In either case, you aren't like to move forward with positive action to fix the problems and all the fighting or ignoring will lead nowhere.
The recipe for success is a short period of open, honest, attack-free discussion where both people are allowed to state the issues as they see it without worry of attack or revenge. If you really listen to one another and then take deliberate action to start fixing the issues, you may really be able to save the relationship.
If you really want to save your marriage, then realize that action counts more than words. When it comes down to rekindling a flame or letting it snuff out, what you do counts much more than what you say.
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