Being happy in your marriage may sometimes seem like an unobtainable goal. Over time your unhappiness can turn into feelings of resentment. We begin to blame our spouse for everything that may be wrong with the relationship. Once this has happened, it may seem impossible to get past it. The good news is that with some hard work on both of your parts it is almost always possible to fix a broken marriage. Heres are some suggestions that may help you to save your marriage.
Know Your Feelings
Before you can fix the way that you feel you must understand why you feel that way. Arguments lead to anger and hard feelings, but what is the real reason for the arguments. If you are truthful with yourself and your spouse does the same, you will probably discover that although on the surface the fights are about many things, the real reasons are all the same. Perhaps one spouse feels ignored or that their needs are not being met. Maybe one spouse is too controlling and the other feels like their opinion doesn't matter. Whatever the truth is, if you can discover these reasons then you can start to fix the real problems.
Don't Lie
Being honest is not always an easy thing to do. However, if you want to save your marriage you will need to be completely honest, not only with your spouse but more importantly with yourself. If you aren't, the resentment and anger that has been building throughout your marriage will never go away. Be honest about what makes you feel angry or hurt, but also be honest about what you need to be happy.
Forget the Past
All of us make mistakes on a daily basis. Granted, some errors are larger than others, but you need to find a way to let go of the hurt and anger on a daily basis. If you allow the anger to stay it will grow. Every new mistake will build on the previous ones and soon you will spend most of your time angry. It is very hard to reconcile your differences if you are angry all of the time.
Get Outside Help
Finding a good counselor may be the best solution. The right person can not only provide a sounding board for you to bounce you feelings off of, but they can give impartial advice. If you decide to go to marriage counseling, you must both be willing to listen and honestly try to make use of the advice he or she is offering.
Trying to save your marriage can be a long and difficult road to travel. Keep in mind that the end result will be a partnership that may strengthen both of you.
Know Your Feelings
Before you can fix the way that you feel you must understand why you feel that way. Arguments lead to anger and hard feelings, but what is the real reason for the arguments. If you are truthful with yourself and your spouse does the same, you will probably discover that although on the surface the fights are about many things, the real reasons are all the same. Perhaps one spouse feels ignored or that their needs are not being met. Maybe one spouse is too controlling and the other feels like their opinion doesn't matter. Whatever the truth is, if you can discover these reasons then you can start to fix the real problems.
Don't Lie
Being honest is not always an easy thing to do. However, if you want to save your marriage you will need to be completely honest, not only with your spouse but more importantly with yourself. If you aren't, the resentment and anger that has been building throughout your marriage will never go away. Be honest about what makes you feel angry or hurt, but also be honest about what you need to be happy.
Forget the Past
All of us make mistakes on a daily basis. Granted, some errors are larger than others, but you need to find a way to let go of the hurt and anger on a daily basis. If you allow the anger to stay it will grow. Every new mistake will build on the previous ones and soon you will spend most of your time angry. It is very hard to reconcile your differences if you are angry all of the time.
Get Outside Help
Finding a good counselor may be the best solution. The right person can not only provide a sounding board for you to bounce you feelings off of, but they can give impartial advice. If you decide to go to marriage counseling, you must both be willing to listen and honestly try to make use of the advice he or she is offering.
Trying to save your marriage can be a long and difficult road to travel. Keep in mind that the end result will be a partnership that may strengthen both of you.
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