Saturday, December 31, 2011

Love Moodswings

By Alex Shant


Finding the "right person" to love you will not work because your 'radar' will continue to attract unhealthy partners that are a selfish, or narcissistic.We have to stop the lie we have bought into when we define to ourselves our own concept of the 'perfect one'. Do not fool yourself. No one is going to make you happy until you 'get' happy internally and gain the awareness you need.

So what are the issues that love addicts need to confront to break free and overcome this sinister dependency to "love". What is it we need to do to be able to establish happy and satisfying love in our lives. In this article you need to realize the following reality to be able to have a satisfying relationship:


1. Fear of abandonment -one of their greatest fears and emotional triggers in relationships.
2. Denial- love addicts enter relationships in denial- denial of their
partner's reality, and the relationship and the self.
3. Impaired Self Worth-Toxic - love addicts have difficulty validating their inherent value and worth, have a distorted reality and beliefs about themselves and about love & intimacy; problems of anger, isolation,depression


Some behaviors that display this core issue include:
* Perfectionism
* Placating
* Care taking
* Rescuing
* Fear of intimacy
* Rejecting someone who wants to get close
* Enabler
* Martyr
* Victim


4. Unrealistic expectations- love addicts go into relationships with unrealistic and expectations that no one can live up to. Fueled by the love addicts core beliefs and the fact that they have trouble meeting their own needs --- are unrealistic expectations that one person will meet all of their needs.


They chance to expect one person to be completely at their disposal and expect more from a relationship than any relationship can deliver. They fall for the Hollywood-inspired fantasy that their perfect lover should love me no matter what happens.


The problem is not about your partner the problem is the core issues that we because of our dependency to that person.




About the Author: