Tuesday, June 19, 2012

Are You A Player, Or Just Someone Who Wants To Date Better?

By Jayde Johanssen


Labels and dating, they go hand in hand. People always put their own prejudices out there, putting a label on you for just being you. If you want to be cautious when dating, you are called frigid. If you want to be more outgoing, then you are a player. It really is quite ridiculous.

There are a whole range of names which people are labelled with when dating, some relatively benign, others not so benign. Regardless, all these labels have negative connotations and instead of encouraging you to go out and meet people, they make you feel like you need to justify what you are doing and the dating decisions you have made.

The label "player" is coming up quite frequently at the moment. Its typically used to describe a man who dates many women and discusses his dates with other men. That is what this article is about.

I find it very strange that a man who is open to discussing his romantic life, with the intent of learning and improving himself, is labelled a player.

Women are renowned for sharing their romantic experiences. They get together in little groups and share, learning from each others experiences and advising each other. Many don't realise this, but there are also groups of men who get together to share and learn from each other. Its a rare, lets face it, men are not supposed to talk about that stuff are they?

This means that while women can share and learn from each other, typically men can only learn from their own experiences. This makes learning much more difficult.

There are two reasons I can think of that causes this issue. Firstly, there is the concept of "A gentleman never kisses and tells". Men are indoctrinated by women not to talk about their experiences, all the while the same women are sharing everything. The second is that men tend to be very competitive when it comes to women, which leads to bravado rather than open communication.

The problem this causes is that you often have nowhere to go when you want to talk about your real dating issues. There is no-one you can learn from. Therefore you can't learn about women and how to interact with them so that both you and your date enjoy a more harmonious dating experience.

So, if you are single, a man and interested in understanding more about women, no doubt you have faced these challenges yourself. Keep the faith, forget what everyone says, you are not a player. As long as you are being compassionate to your dating partners, continue on your journey of self discovery and improvement. It is a good thing.




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