It doesn't really matter how far gone you suspect your marital relationship may be right now. If you have the desire to try and rekindle the emotion and spark that was once there, then it is time to reconsider the way in which you communicate with your spouse. The fastest way to fix marriage problems is to change the dialogue that is exchanged between the two people.
There is one big difference between many couples who work out their problems and move onto a happy future and those that end in ruin: excellent communication skills. If you think you already have this and it isn't a problem, you are not alone. In fact, many people who come at their spouses all wrong and set up conflict often believe they have impeccable communication skills.
It is highly likely that you are doing this without knowing it. Something as simple as the tone of your voice or the exact words chosen to express a feeling can shut down the line of communication before it actually opens.
What you need to ultimately do is somehow set aside all of those emotions that are so intense and raw at the moment. You need an all new skill set in order to get past that wall your spouse has erected and start to repair the damage with real conversations about how you both feel and what you want.
First, make sure to initiate conversations at a time that is convenient and comfortable for your spouse. Don't approach them right after they walk in the door from a hard day of work or as they try to figure out how to get all the bills paid when the checking account is short.
Next, you want to ensure that the way you open the conversation does not make them anticipate a fight. If they think you are upset with them or that you are blaming them for something they will immediately pull away instead of opening themselves to you.
Finally, take the time prior to this meeting to figure out exactly what you want to say, or even write it down. Carefully phrase every single line so that you never state things that place blame. You want to just focus on yourself and your own feelings. Stating your love for them is another great move.
You can start to fix marriage problems with a method such as this, but you cannot expect huge steps forward to be made right away. This will start to open the door for better communications so that the heart of your problems can be aired and eventually corrected.
There is one big difference between many couples who work out their problems and move onto a happy future and those that end in ruin: excellent communication skills. If you think you already have this and it isn't a problem, you are not alone. In fact, many people who come at their spouses all wrong and set up conflict often believe they have impeccable communication skills.
It is highly likely that you are doing this without knowing it. Something as simple as the tone of your voice or the exact words chosen to express a feeling can shut down the line of communication before it actually opens.
What you need to ultimately do is somehow set aside all of those emotions that are so intense and raw at the moment. You need an all new skill set in order to get past that wall your spouse has erected and start to repair the damage with real conversations about how you both feel and what you want.
First, make sure to initiate conversations at a time that is convenient and comfortable for your spouse. Don't approach them right after they walk in the door from a hard day of work or as they try to figure out how to get all the bills paid when the checking account is short.
Next, you want to ensure that the way you open the conversation does not make them anticipate a fight. If they think you are upset with them or that you are blaming them for something they will immediately pull away instead of opening themselves to you.
Finally, take the time prior to this meeting to figure out exactly what you want to say, or even write it down. Carefully phrase every single line so that you never state things that place blame. You want to just focus on yourself and your own feelings. Stating your love for them is another great move.
You can start to fix marriage problems with a method such as this, but you cannot expect huge steps forward to be made right away. This will start to open the door for better communications so that the heart of your problems can be aired and eventually corrected.
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