Saturday, October 10, 2009

Step-By-Step Guide To Saving A Relationship

By Kim Sanchez

Jim and Lisbet are having problems with time management. Both of them feel that they are neglected by the other. Lisbet takes care of the children, while Jim has too much work in his hands. Will they be able to save this relationship? Is it worth saving the relationship? read on to learn how to save the relationship.

The first thing that you need to do is make up your mind. Ask yourself, is the relationship worth saving at all? The important thing in saving a relationship is that both parties want to work hard to save it. If the other one is not too thrilled to save the relationship, then how can it work?

Many people stay in a relationship because it is convenient or remain in a marriage because of the children. But that is not enough. How to save a relationship starts with a commitment by both parties that the relationship is worth saving.

The other thing that you need to know is that problems in a relationship is not the problem themselves. So home in on the core of the problem. Seek it out and flush it.

For instance, many people think an affair is a problem that causes break ups. In truth, the affair is a symptom of a deeper problem. For instance, a lack of true intimacy can lead to a straying spouse. While most people look at the affair as the problem, the underlying cause of the affair was the lack of intimacy in the primary relationship. If you do not deal with the lack of intimacy, you might be able to keep another affair from starting through the use of guilt, but another problem (for instance pornography) could pop up because you haven't dealt with the core issue.

So talk about the fundamental issues that needs to be addressed so you can save the relationship.

After you have targeted the fundamental problems you have to begin communicating your feelings to your partner. You can touch your partner, hold hands, as if you are trying to say that you want to reconnect with him or her. During the conversation, keep your emotions at check. You might hear some hurtful things, but bear in mind that your partner is not there to hurt you but to communicate with you.

When you have finished with your heart to heart talk. You need to plan a course of action and execute it. If you have time management problems then make time for each other. If you have communication problems, then spare 20 minutes every night to talk before going to sleep.

Last but not the least, you have to bear in mind that fixing a relationship is an on going process that can take a long time, lot's of laughter, and lots of tears as well. Stop blaming your partner and be quick to apologize if you are at fault.

Is your relationship worth saving? If so, I've described in this article how to save a relationship.

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