Wednesday, June 20, 2012

How To Date A Partner From A Different Religion

By Jayde Johanssen


One of the reasons dating is often difficult, is that by dating, you are inviting a person into your life with the intent of developing a relationship where this person will influence you and the choices in life you make. This can be a good thing, it can also be a bad thing.

This is a good thing when the person cares about you enough to recognise the important things to you. They then use their influence to make you a better person. Often though, people have their own agenda and will use their influence to build on their own ideals and values, rather than recognising you are a different person with a different perspective on life.

Culture and religion can play a big part in this, especially if your date has strong beliefs or tendencies along either of these lines. The reason why culture and religion can play a big part in this is because the rules of both tend to be strict (to varying degrees) with little or no room for compromise.

Two of the pillars of a successful relationship are compromise and understanding. As such, cross religion or cross cultural relationships are sometimes difficult. This is because, due to "devotion to the cause", the religious person's views and attitudes can sometimes be rigid, breaking down the precepts of compromise and understanding.

When I point this out, don't take it the wrong way. I'm not saying religion and culture are good or bad. I'm not saying religious or cultural people are right or wrong for you. All I am saying is that rigid beliefs and ideals can impact the development of a relationship and you should be aware of it.

You may be Asian and eastern culture may be very important to you. Dating someone else who places similar importance on such traditions can promote harmony in your relationship and assist with your personal growth. This is due to your synchronised life views.

If you have not lived your life within an Asian culture and have little interest in it, then dating someone who was very strong in this regard could cause problems. It could be difficult to understand some of the values this person shared with you and some of their opinions about the thing you do. A successful relationship in this regard will take lots of compromise and understanding.

Similarly with religion, a devout person of Christian or Jewish faith could be a much better person having a partner of similar faith, helping and supporting them through the matters of conscience particular to those religions. Similar beliefs in matters of sexuality also help in setting boundaries in the early stages of relationships in these cases. This is why religious dating sites also exist.

Matters of the heart rarely work out exactly as we expect though, so often inter-religion relationships occur. To be successful, tremendous understanding is required from both parties in the relationship. Discord often arises when the non-religious partner acts in a manner that, while socially acceptable, may not be within the strictures of the religious partner's religion. When this happens, for the relationship to be successful, compromise is required from both sides.

It is important to understand that what we have said in this article is not a set of rules, rather some food for thought. Many inter-religion and inter-cultural relationships exist and form every single day and are completely successful. These relationships are successful due to understanding and compromise the partners have of and with each other, just like any other relationship.




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