People who use internet dating to find a date are usually pretty well versed in how to keep their nerves from showing. When meeting someone for the first time it's natural for our stomachs to be full of butterflies! So we're good, but what can you do when your date is not so at ease? Read on for some tips;
The thing about someone being overly nervous is that it gets in the way of communication. Since a first date is all about getting to better know someone, it stands to reason that those nerves may put a damper on that. Your date may very well be excited about finally meeting you, but it's obvious that he or she is finding the whole thing just a tad overwhelming.
Usually I approach this head on, in a kind and non critical way. Simply acknowledge that you understand their nervousness and admit that you feel the same way (even if you don't, it's kinder this way). Suggest to your date that you both put those feelings aside. Recommend that you both lighten up a bit and have some fun, then lead by example.
With any luck your date will follow your lead and you can get down to the business of dating. But what if your date doesn't follow suit? Well, you can only do so much. You're here to have fun not a therapy session. If your date remains cool, don't be rude about it, but do plan on making it an early night. There's one of two things happening here; he or she is always cool and reserved, or they just need more time to warm up.
So now that that whole nervy business is out of the way, your date is proceeding smoothly. Or so you thought, until about an hour later when you have concluded that your latest internet dating find is really a jerk!
Which is a bit baffling! He has a job working with small animals and his nieces and nephews think he's the greatest uncle in the world. But he's a jerk! Not to you, but to everyone else around like the waitress. His emails were sweet and charming, but his manner to the stranger who bumped into him in line is anything but.
These are the kind of things you just can't predict. His or her annoyance may not be directed towards you, but their behavior is enough to raise red flags. There is always the possibility that sooner or later their anger is going to be direct at you. There are definitely some deeper issues here that this person needs to resolve.
As harsh as this may sound, dating someone like this is kind of like buying an already sick kitten. Though it's true that all kittens may have problems at some point in the future, that shouldn't stop you from casting your net and catching the one that appears to be the healthiest.
The thing about someone being overly nervous is that it gets in the way of communication. Since a first date is all about getting to better know someone, it stands to reason that those nerves may put a damper on that. Your date may very well be excited about finally meeting you, but it's obvious that he or she is finding the whole thing just a tad overwhelming.
Usually I approach this head on, in a kind and non critical way. Simply acknowledge that you understand their nervousness and admit that you feel the same way (even if you don't, it's kinder this way). Suggest to your date that you both put those feelings aside. Recommend that you both lighten up a bit and have some fun, then lead by example.
With any luck your date will follow your lead and you can get down to the business of dating. But what if your date doesn't follow suit? Well, you can only do so much. You're here to have fun not a therapy session. If your date remains cool, don't be rude about it, but do plan on making it an early night. There's one of two things happening here; he or she is always cool and reserved, or they just need more time to warm up.
So now that that whole nervy business is out of the way, your date is proceeding smoothly. Or so you thought, until about an hour later when you have concluded that your latest internet dating find is really a jerk!
Which is a bit baffling! He has a job working with small animals and his nieces and nephews think he's the greatest uncle in the world. But he's a jerk! Not to you, but to everyone else around like the waitress. His emails were sweet and charming, but his manner to the stranger who bumped into him in line is anything but.
These are the kind of things you just can't predict. His or her annoyance may not be directed towards you, but their behavior is enough to raise red flags. There is always the possibility that sooner or later their anger is going to be direct at you. There are definitely some deeper issues here that this person needs to resolve.
As harsh as this may sound, dating someone like this is kind of like buying an already sick kitten. Though it's true that all kittens may have problems at some point in the future, that shouldn't stop you from casting your net and catching the one that appears to be the healthiest.
About the Author:
This post was written by the writers of the Datepad.com internet dating company where you can read thousands of helpful dating posts.
