It's well known that it's common for relationships to fail simply because both parties did not understand or had never learned how to argue in a way which wasn't destructive.
There will always be times of disagreement and arguments within a relationship. In fact, psychologists agree that it's an essential process which helps to deepen the relationship as a whole. You must learn however, to always guard and protect your partners self esteem and sense of worth, that's the secret.
All too often we engage in war with our partner fuelled by anger or hurt feelings. This causes us to lose all logical perspective and it becomes a game of trying to inflict damage. You must learn that the point of arguing is not to win, it's to find harmony once again.
It's really important that you are always super clear about why you are upset and learn how to communicate this to your partner without criticism or any sense of attack upon them as a person. If you do not do this your partner will quickly become defensive (as you do when under attack) and work to counter against you.
The ego is so powerful in all of us and so you have to be careful, even artful, in dealing with it.
Realize that you only get what you want - a happy relationship, if both of you are happy! So winning implies that someone wins and someone loses which is hardly going to create a stable relationship. You must be balanced and look at the real possibility that YOU may be wrong, often what we view as 'the truth' depends a great deal upon our own point of view.
Here's the final thing, learn how to apologize sincerely when you are wrong. It will mean so much to the other person and quite possibly inspire them to do the same whenever they may be wrong in the future.
Real apologies are very powerful in healing emotional wounds and bringing relationships to a deeper and more intense level of trust and security.
There will always be times of disagreement and arguments within a relationship. In fact, psychologists agree that it's an essential process which helps to deepen the relationship as a whole. You must learn however, to always guard and protect your partners self esteem and sense of worth, that's the secret.
All too often we engage in war with our partner fuelled by anger or hurt feelings. This causes us to lose all logical perspective and it becomes a game of trying to inflict damage. You must learn that the point of arguing is not to win, it's to find harmony once again.
It's really important that you are always super clear about why you are upset and learn how to communicate this to your partner without criticism or any sense of attack upon them as a person. If you do not do this your partner will quickly become defensive (as you do when under attack) and work to counter against you.
The ego is so powerful in all of us and so you have to be careful, even artful, in dealing with it.
Realize that you only get what you want - a happy relationship, if both of you are happy! So winning implies that someone wins and someone loses which is hardly going to create a stable relationship. You must be balanced and look at the real possibility that YOU may be wrong, often what we view as 'the truth' depends a great deal upon our own point of view.
Here's the final thing, learn how to apologize sincerely when you are wrong. It will mean so much to the other person and quite possibly inspire them to do the same whenever they may be wrong in the future.
Real apologies are very powerful in healing emotional wounds and bringing relationships to a deeper and more intense level of trust and security.
About the Author:
The writer is well known for his articles in the area of relationships. You can also check out his other expert product review sites for binoculars bird watching where you'll find many great deals plus expert advice on high powered bird watching binoculars.
