Tuesday, August 3, 2010

Are You Still Arguing With Your Girlfriend? Knock It Off And Be Happy!

By Steve Steiner

Arguments with your girlfriend, unfortunately, are a fact of life at some point in a relationship. Disagreements seem bound to happen despite all the love and respect you feel for each other. You'll find that sometimes tempers flare for no real reason, and arguments start for the most ridiculous reasons!

Sometimes you feel just as bad whether you "won" or lost! Before the bickering takes over and destroys the relationship, you've got to do something!

Stop Arguing with Girlfriend Tip #1 -- Will it Matter Tomorrow?

You can't fight about every perceived wrong. You should get used to not getting you way all the time, because a woman worth staying with won't put up with it. If you know she's got a problem with punctuality, for example, does it make sense to start bickering with her every time she shows up late? If you start the evening off bickering about her lateness, that's going to be the tone for the entire evening. Sound like fun? If it doesn't, don't let her being a few minutes late ruin her evening - and yours.

Don't misunderstand - there are plenty of big things that might happen that you'll have to confront her on. Just because you're trying to let go of the small things doesn't mean you should ignore it when she takes large sums of money from your savings account. When such major issues come up, you have to address them right away. When something like that happens, you've got to sit down with her and address the problem directly. But if she left the cap off the toothpaste tube, so what? I mean, cry me a river! Let it go!

Stop Arguing with Girlfriend Tip #2 -- Share Your Feelings

Our women tell us that one of our biggest problems is that we men like to keep things bottled up inside. Issues just sit and fester until suddenly there's a major problem. This is a counterproductive way of dealing with issues. For instance, if you find yourself picking up the tab all the time and it bothers you, let her know that it feels wrong to you.

Your conversation needs to be calm and civilized, though, and you can't call her a miser! Not everything that annoys you was done deliberately for that purpose. Many women don't want to pay in public because they don't want their men to feel embarrassed. If, during your talk, you find this to be the case, it should be a lot easier for you to find a solution to your problem.

If you want to avoid an argument with your girlfriend, try an open, straightforward discussion.

Stop Arguing with Girlfriend Tip #3 -- Be a Trend-Spotter

The things we fight about are frequently immaterial - it's the fighting itself and the general subject matter that might form patterns that are instructive. Something you might experiment with is this: look at the last few arguments and see if there's any common thread.

When couple bicker, it's frequently about a narrow range of issues. If that's the case with you, you should discuss those issues together calmly. If there's something about her behavior that's bugging you, don't tell her there's something wrong with her - tell her how you feel when she does it. Feelings aren't good or bad, they're just there. If you share your feelings about things, you'll understand each other better, and you'll find yourself paying attention to each other's feelings more. Problems have a way of shrinking, and solutions become more obvious, when the two of you are sharing and working together.

Sharing your feelings with your girlfriend is a basic element of what relationships are all about. Honesty is a crucial part of your relationship. Being "right" isn't. Discuss things honestly and openly, and you'll be able to stop arguing with her and enjoy spending time with your girlfriend.

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