You've probably heard this story before. Person A; wonderful life complete with fun friends, satisfying hobbies and a thriving career. There's just one thing missing from their life, so they join an internet dating service. And before you know it, A has met B, complete with smooches and cuddling; in other words, absolute chemistry.
A few months later, these two are a couple. A happy pair cocooned in wrappings of romantic bliss. Unfortunately, their friends aren't receiving very little face time, their career is getting less attention, and hobbieswhat are they??
One of the paramount goals of any conscious dater is to seek out the type of partner and relationship that will enable us to not only be happily in love but to also retain our sense of independence. We want to share our lives, not surrender them. But how do we accomplish this? Lets break it down.
It's all wonderful when we start dating someone new, so it's not surprising that most couples will look for situations where that feeling is best realized. They seek out situations where the electricity sizzles; and for most couples that means alone time. Away from outside interferences and mental obstructions.
It's really one of the most perfect times of life. You're part of a new pair, and it's almost as if nothing, and no one, else exists. You're learning about each other and developing couple habits and routines.
As for the friends, family, career and hobbies, they're still there. You just haven't noticed them much being so focused on your new partner. But once the bloom is off the rose, and it will happen sooner or later, you're going to realize that you've let the rest of your life slide into apathy.
It doesn't always happen this way. Believe it or not, there are people who are able to start a new relationship and enjoy the newness of it all while maintaining their commitment to friends, career and hobbies. I'm certainly not one of them!
Me, I'm actually one of those people who loves being crazy in love. I love it that I'm NOT balanced or logical when I'm wrapped up in someone new. Having said that, I never let it go too long without coming up for air, so to speak. And I know I'm reaching that point when I start feeling a bit out of sorts about the things I've let slip away from me.
So whats the answer? How do you allow yourself to surrender to the loveliness of being swept away by a new romance but still keep the ties to your single life strong?
That's where we have to distinguish between chemistry and compatibility. One has nothing to do with the other. That doesn't take away from that electricity between the two of you, but chemistry is just hormones. Compatibility on the other hand is how your two lives can live harmoniously.
Its much easier to find someone who makes your tummy flip than to find someone who shares your enthusiasm for early morning yoga or skeet shooting. Im not saying you have to find your twin to have a successful love. Im all about compromise. But the closer someone already is to your present way of life, the less of a gap youll have to bridge for your love and in turn, the stronger that love will be.
Making a relationship work is never easy. And when you find someone who makes you weak in the knees, will join you in doing the things you love (and vice versa), and who actually likes spending time with your family and friends, all areas of your life will improve! Now that's worth working on.
A few months later, these two are a couple. A happy pair cocooned in wrappings of romantic bliss. Unfortunately, their friends aren't receiving very little face time, their career is getting less attention, and hobbieswhat are they??
One of the paramount goals of any conscious dater is to seek out the type of partner and relationship that will enable us to not only be happily in love but to also retain our sense of independence. We want to share our lives, not surrender them. But how do we accomplish this? Lets break it down.
It's all wonderful when we start dating someone new, so it's not surprising that most couples will look for situations where that feeling is best realized. They seek out situations where the electricity sizzles; and for most couples that means alone time. Away from outside interferences and mental obstructions.
It's really one of the most perfect times of life. You're part of a new pair, and it's almost as if nothing, and no one, else exists. You're learning about each other and developing couple habits and routines.
As for the friends, family, career and hobbies, they're still there. You just haven't noticed them much being so focused on your new partner. But once the bloom is off the rose, and it will happen sooner or later, you're going to realize that you've let the rest of your life slide into apathy.
It doesn't always happen this way. Believe it or not, there are people who are able to start a new relationship and enjoy the newness of it all while maintaining their commitment to friends, career and hobbies. I'm certainly not one of them!
Me, I'm actually one of those people who loves being crazy in love. I love it that I'm NOT balanced or logical when I'm wrapped up in someone new. Having said that, I never let it go too long without coming up for air, so to speak. And I know I'm reaching that point when I start feeling a bit out of sorts about the things I've let slip away from me.
So whats the answer? How do you allow yourself to surrender to the loveliness of being swept away by a new romance but still keep the ties to your single life strong?
That's where we have to distinguish between chemistry and compatibility. One has nothing to do with the other. That doesn't take away from that electricity between the two of you, but chemistry is just hormones. Compatibility on the other hand is how your two lives can live harmoniously.
Its much easier to find someone who makes your tummy flip than to find someone who shares your enthusiasm for early morning yoga or skeet shooting. Im not saying you have to find your twin to have a successful love. Im all about compromise. But the closer someone already is to your present way of life, the less of a gap youll have to bridge for your love and in turn, the stronger that love will be.
Making a relationship work is never easy. And when you find someone who makes you weak in the knees, will join you in doing the things you love (and vice versa), and who actually likes spending time with your family and friends, all areas of your life will improve! Now that's worth working on.
About the Author:
This article was written by the writers of the Datepad.com internet dating company where you can read hundreds of helpful dating articles.
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