When we have a new partner we usually can't stop ourselves from singing their praises. New love is a wonderful thing, even though we may drive our friends crazy because we go on and on and on. Too much information? Yes, but we just can't help ourselves.
Wouldn't it be wonderful if things stayed like that? It would, but hey, things change. Sometimes these changes are for the good, and sometimes for the bad.
If we fast forward a few month or even years, the change is remarkable. Where we used to rant and rave about our partner's wonderful side, now we complain to our friends. We complain about what our partner does and doesn't do, what he or she says or doesn't say; the list is endless.
Relationship disappointments are inevitable. Your partner will say something that hurts you and there will be days when you're tempted to call the whole thing off. So how about changing that around and concentrating not just on the negatives when talking to your friends, but also the positive.
Just as we strive for a work and family life balance, we should also strive for balance in our relationship. While venting to a partner about the sore points is advisable, you need to balance that with the positive things in your relationship. Too much of either creates an imbalance for growth and the wrong balance could cause your relationship to collapse.
I'm not saying that you shouldn't share either the good or the bad about your mate with your friends. But a little restraint goes a long way. You need to think about when to share and how much to share. Take a deep breath and give it some thought before your mouth runs away with itself.
Thinking before speaking accomplishes two things. One, it provides insight about your situation and allows you to get to the heart of the matter. Trust your instincts. Second, after you've thought about it and you're still feeling unsettled, then you can make the decision to talk to someone.
When this happens, talk about the situation but balance it with positive information as well as complaints about your mate. Giving both sides helps the person listening not just take your side. Sometimes the person listening will be able to find the positive and give you a way to praise your mate. Remember, there was something special about them that made you date them in the first place. Keeping this in mind will help you be able to approach what is going on with an open mind.
Wouldn't it be wonderful if things stayed like that? It would, but hey, things change. Sometimes these changes are for the good, and sometimes for the bad.
If we fast forward a few month or even years, the change is remarkable. Where we used to rant and rave about our partner's wonderful side, now we complain to our friends. We complain about what our partner does and doesn't do, what he or she says or doesn't say; the list is endless.
Relationship disappointments are inevitable. Your partner will say something that hurts you and there will be days when you're tempted to call the whole thing off. So how about changing that around and concentrating not just on the negatives when talking to your friends, but also the positive.
Just as we strive for a work and family life balance, we should also strive for balance in our relationship. While venting to a partner about the sore points is advisable, you need to balance that with the positive things in your relationship. Too much of either creates an imbalance for growth and the wrong balance could cause your relationship to collapse.
I'm not saying that you shouldn't share either the good or the bad about your mate with your friends. But a little restraint goes a long way. You need to think about when to share and how much to share. Take a deep breath and give it some thought before your mouth runs away with itself.
Thinking before speaking accomplishes two things. One, it provides insight about your situation and allows you to get to the heart of the matter. Trust your instincts. Second, after you've thought about it and you're still feeling unsettled, then you can make the decision to talk to someone.
When this happens, talk about the situation but balance it with positive information as well as complaints about your mate. Giving both sides helps the person listening not just take your side. Sometimes the person listening will be able to find the positive and give you a way to praise your mate. Remember, there was something special about them that made you date them in the first place. Keeping this in mind will help you be able to approach what is going on with an open mind.
About the Author:
This post was developed by the staff of the Datepad.com internet dating company where you can find hundreds of professional dating posts.
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