Youngsters are always important considerations, but when you decide you want to get married, the Youngsters you already have become even more important.
If the Children are left out of the wedding, they feel omitted.
If the Children are forced to participate in some awkward manner, the Youngsters resent it.
There are no rules, no easy prescriptions. There are only very sensitive feelings and a need to launch a family. There are, however, some practical considerations.
Begin the process of building appropriate relationships by considering the capabilities, needs, and desires of Children and adults. Youngsters do not have the maturity or experience to deal with adult situations, therefore, adults must be supportive of their emotional needs.
To foster a positive healthy family environment, the adults need to sort out their own feelings, values, priorities, desires, and relationships apart from the Children. Then once the adults have mature understanding of themselves, they are in a position to relate to the Children.
Kids do not want to be ignored, overlooked, or abandoned. They look to the adults in their lives to provide security, stability, love, and acceptance.
Prevent problems by building positive relationships with the Children. Help the Children accept the new adults in their lives before wedding pressures develop.
The goal of any couple with Children planning to marry is to create a family where each member of the family feels loved, accepted, appreciated, and secure as part of the family. Dysfunctional families are no fun for anyone. When the family shares their hopes, dreams, and plans; everyone is blessed.
Approach the wedding with caution. Build a solid foundation by establishing positive connection with each family member. This will foster positive family relationships.
This is where wedding vows involving Children comes in.
Todd is an eight year old boy whose mother has been dating for several months and wants to get married. She and her gentleman friend are concerned about Todds response.
After talking about the situation for a few minutes, I suggested that a meeting be planned that included the boy. At the meeting, we would discuss the upcoming wedding.
A few weeks passed and the couple arrived with their little boy. We sat down and discussed the relationships between Todd and the groom. Both expressed positive feelings and set the stage for positive developments. Then we discussed ways to involve Todd in the wedding. There were many options: ring bearer ( a little old), junior usher, or possibly Todd could actually participate in the wedding as a member of the new family.
It was decided that Todd would be included in the wedding ceremony by creating special vows for him.
Here is the set of wedding vows involving Children:
Bride: Because I love you, Todd, I ask that you accept Charles as my husband and your step father. I promise that I will always love, protect, and cherish you.
Groom: Todd, I have promised to love your mother, but I now pledge to love you as my son. I promise to provide for you, protect you, and encourage you to become everything you desire.
Todd: Thank you Mom and (name) for loving me. I want you to be my parents and I will do my best to honor you as my parents.
The words vary from situation to situation, but the love of family always draws people together. Acceptance, forgiveness, understanding, and consideration foster a positive wedding and build a stronger family.
If the Children are left out of the wedding, they feel omitted.
If the Children are forced to participate in some awkward manner, the Youngsters resent it.
There are no rules, no easy prescriptions. There are only very sensitive feelings and a need to launch a family. There are, however, some practical considerations.
Begin the process of building appropriate relationships by considering the capabilities, needs, and desires of Children and adults. Youngsters do not have the maturity or experience to deal with adult situations, therefore, adults must be supportive of their emotional needs.
To foster a positive healthy family environment, the adults need to sort out their own feelings, values, priorities, desires, and relationships apart from the Children. Then once the adults have mature understanding of themselves, they are in a position to relate to the Children.
Kids do not want to be ignored, overlooked, or abandoned. They look to the adults in their lives to provide security, stability, love, and acceptance.
Prevent problems by building positive relationships with the Children. Help the Children accept the new adults in their lives before wedding pressures develop.
The goal of any couple with Children planning to marry is to create a family where each member of the family feels loved, accepted, appreciated, and secure as part of the family. Dysfunctional families are no fun for anyone. When the family shares their hopes, dreams, and plans; everyone is blessed.
Approach the wedding with caution. Build a solid foundation by establishing positive connection with each family member. This will foster positive family relationships.
This is where wedding vows involving Children comes in.
Todd is an eight year old boy whose mother has been dating for several months and wants to get married. She and her gentleman friend are concerned about Todds response.
After talking about the situation for a few minutes, I suggested that a meeting be planned that included the boy. At the meeting, we would discuss the upcoming wedding.
A few weeks passed and the couple arrived with their little boy. We sat down and discussed the relationships between Todd and the groom. Both expressed positive feelings and set the stage for positive developments. Then we discussed ways to involve Todd in the wedding. There were many options: ring bearer ( a little old), junior usher, or possibly Todd could actually participate in the wedding as a member of the new family.
It was decided that Todd would be included in the wedding ceremony by creating special vows for him.
Here is the set of wedding vows involving Children:
Bride: Because I love you, Todd, I ask that you accept Charles as my husband and your step father. I promise that I will always love, protect, and cherish you.
Groom: Todd, I have promised to love your mother, but I now pledge to love you as my son. I promise to provide for you, protect you, and encourage you to become everything you desire.
Todd: Thank you Mom and (name) for loving me. I want you to be my parents and I will do my best to honor you as my parents.
The words vary from situation to situation, but the love of family always draws people together. Acceptance, forgiveness, understanding, and consideration foster a positive wedding and build a stronger family.
About the Author:
Dr. David Trumble is a veteran wedding minister and author from Austin, Texas who supplies wedding supplies and wedding vows to couples nation wide. See his enewest ebook s and store including his newest ebook Wedding Vows Involving Children.
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