I'm not the type of guy who goes out and paints the town red twice a week. My friends have a hard enough time getting me out on a monthly, or even every-other-month basis. When I do go out...oh boy, do I go out. I tend to turn the bars upside down, makes half the bar laugh, and make the other half want to kill me. I just have a real issue with self control when I'm drinking. I never really want to have "just one." It always turns into "just 5 more."
The first time I woke up and couldn't remember most of the previous night, I knew there was a problem. I turn into this different person who has no common sense or care for other's feelings. Of course, I only know this because of the consequences, stories, and pictures I observe the next day.
If you were to talk to me on the phone during the day and then talk to me after I've had ten shots of whiskey, you would be talking to two people who don't share any of the same traits at all. I find the things I do while drunk to be reprehensible. Drunk me would think that sober me is a boring stiff. Drunk me laughs at funny t-shirts that sober me would find silly. Are you starting to understand the severity? Everyone thinks it's funny but me!
An example of this would be when I drank eight shots of bourbon within the span of only two hours. That was a bit of a mistake. My friends tell me that they know I'm about to get "really fun" when one of my eyes gets crooked and looks slightly to the left.
In this instance, I was thrown out of the bar in just a matter of three hours after walking through the door. In the time between my last shot and getting thrown into the gravel outside by the bouncer, I did the following: I showed my scrotum to a random girl, I drank someone else's shot, I drank the same person's shot when they ordered another, I got punched, I jumped behind the bar and drank straight from a bourbon bottle after throwing a wadded-up hundred dollar bill at the bartender, I kissed one bartender (female), I slapped another bartender on the rear (male), and I declared that drinks were on the house. It took a bouncer, the owner of the bar, and a (previously rump-slapped) bartender to wrestle me out from the walk-in cooler.
There is absolutely no helping my condition. I can't drink more to increase my tolerance, because that just means I'll get wasted more often. I don't want to stop drinking at all, but how can I continue when I have no self control. My friends thought it would be funny to buy me a funny t-shirt online that says "Get Me Drunk And Enjoy the Show." I think random people buying me booze at the bar is not really a solution to my problem. I guess we will find out the next time I go.
The first time I woke up and couldn't remember most of the previous night, I knew there was a problem. I turn into this different person who has no common sense or care for other's feelings. Of course, I only know this because of the consequences, stories, and pictures I observe the next day.
If you were to talk to me on the phone during the day and then talk to me after I've had ten shots of whiskey, you would be talking to two people who don't share any of the same traits at all. I find the things I do while drunk to be reprehensible. Drunk me would think that sober me is a boring stiff. Drunk me laughs at funny t-shirts that sober me would find silly. Are you starting to understand the severity? Everyone thinks it's funny but me!
An example of this would be when I drank eight shots of bourbon within the span of only two hours. That was a bit of a mistake. My friends tell me that they know I'm about to get "really fun" when one of my eyes gets crooked and looks slightly to the left.
In this instance, I was thrown out of the bar in just a matter of three hours after walking through the door. In the time between my last shot and getting thrown into the gravel outside by the bouncer, I did the following: I showed my scrotum to a random girl, I drank someone else's shot, I drank the same person's shot when they ordered another, I got punched, I jumped behind the bar and drank straight from a bourbon bottle after throwing a wadded-up hundred dollar bill at the bartender, I kissed one bartender (female), I slapped another bartender on the rear (male), and I declared that drinks were on the house. It took a bouncer, the owner of the bar, and a (previously rump-slapped) bartender to wrestle me out from the walk-in cooler.
There is absolutely no helping my condition. I can't drink more to increase my tolerance, because that just means I'll get wasted more often. I don't want to stop drinking at all, but how can I continue when I have no self control. My friends thought it would be funny to buy me a funny t-shirt online that says "Get Me Drunk And Enjoy the Show." I think random people buying me booze at the bar is not really a solution to my problem. I guess we will find out the next time I go.
About the Author:
To fill your brain about funny t-shirts go to cool t-shirts to see how it's done right.
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