A question often asked by bridal couples is whether it is acceptable to use the monogram of the married couple's name on their wedding invite. The simple and correct answer is "No!"
While there are numerous wedding invitations that now use monograms, it's not proper etiquette and doesn't make a lot of common sense. Simply said "It isn't appropriate to use your 'married name ' monogram, because the couple is not legally married at the time the wedding invitation is sent." Some self-appointed "do your own thing" wedding consultants may disagree, but common-sense dictates otherwise.
Others simply feel that it is bad "Juju" and that one may jinx the wedding by anticipating the actual wedding ceremony that has not yet been officially recognized by either civil or non secular authorities. To most experienced stationery store owners, the solution to this question is pretty straight-forward. Therefore , it was quite surprising that a Crane & Co. wedding invitation sample featured a beautifully embossed monogram in their recently released Wedding Invitations Album.
Naturally, oneassumed that there had been a "boo-boo" since the monogram initials didn't appear to have anything in common with the names of the marriage couple. After some forensic science, namely reading the fine print, we discovered that the lovely engraged monogram was the monogram of the mother of the bride! In a note referencing Crane's Blue Book (the reference source of choice for wedding invite wording and etiquette), Crane states that "As the social hostess for the family, the bride's mother's monogram is traditionally imprinted on the invitation."
The genesis of this custom requires further research. In fairness, some experienced stationers feel that the mother's gorgeous monogram may cast a shadow over the significance of her daughter's wedding. Common sense means that it may be more suitable to let the attention fall on the bridal couple.
While monograms are very good for wedding stationery or the menu at the wedding reception, it is probably best to simply avoid the use of monograms on wedding invitations.
While there are numerous wedding invitations that now use monograms, it's not proper etiquette and doesn't make a lot of common sense. Simply said "It isn't appropriate to use your 'married name ' monogram, because the couple is not legally married at the time the wedding invitation is sent." Some self-appointed "do your own thing" wedding consultants may disagree, but common-sense dictates otherwise.
Others simply feel that it is bad "Juju" and that one may jinx the wedding by anticipating the actual wedding ceremony that has not yet been officially recognized by either civil or non secular authorities. To most experienced stationery store owners, the solution to this question is pretty straight-forward. Therefore , it was quite surprising that a Crane & Co. wedding invitation sample featured a beautifully embossed monogram in their recently released Wedding Invitations Album.
Naturally, oneassumed that there had been a "boo-boo" since the monogram initials didn't appear to have anything in common with the names of the marriage couple. After some forensic science, namely reading the fine print, we discovered that the lovely engraged monogram was the monogram of the mother of the bride! In a note referencing Crane's Blue Book (the reference source of choice for wedding invite wording and etiquette), Crane states that "As the social hostess for the family, the bride's mother's monogram is traditionally imprinted on the invitation."
The genesis of this custom requires further research. In fairness, some experienced stationers feel that the mother's gorgeous monogram may cast a shadow over the significance of her daughter's wedding. Common sense means that it may be more suitable to let the attention fall on the bridal couple.
While monograms are very good for wedding stationery or the menu at the wedding reception, it is probably best to simply avoid the use of monograms on wedding invitations.
About the Author:
Richard May is a Founding Member of the Stationers Guild and a co-owner of Therese Saint Clair, a stationery store found in Greenwich, CT.
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